fattynltlover
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Hello ladies!(:

I woke up this morning and ate half of a skinned apple and a cup of apple juice(140cals). It was a lot to eat for breakfast. I wont eat until dinner time. If I eat before than I'll prob. purge and I dont want to do that today. My throat is so sore from this past week. I'm also going to start running again. Oh!, I almost forgot. I ate 2 pieces of orbit gum(6cals.) So I had 143 cals. today and its only 9:41 ): Well, my mom bought more laxatives but she is iding them from me: / I hate that she knows about my ED. And I hate that she only wants to act like a "parent who cares" when she feels like it. She doesnt care that I cut and she never said anything when I was throwing up, but she'll take away my laxatives. Its so gay!
I cut my wrist really deep yesterday in school. I was so stressed because I got a 86 in my honors history class. I need to keep that grade up to at least a 90. I was kind of happy because I got a 93 in spanish and english and a 95 in math, but the 86 killed me. It took me forever to stop the bleeding. I would of got straight A's if I wasnt such a lazy failure.
Well, to show that I'm not a failure, I'm going to fast next week. And restrict myself to only 300cals a day. NO BINGING!!! I know I can do it. I know I can be thin and I know I can be happy.!!!

theljstaff
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maeve_me
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CW: 59,9 kg    thats like 132 pounds:O

Hw: 66 kg... i'm not even going to say that in pounds... so embarrasing
GW1 : 55 kg     121 pounds
GW2: 50 kg      +-  110 pounds 

i'm 161 cm  i think thats like 5'2 isn't it?  and i'm 18 years old... at the end of this month 19^^

my first and biggest question is.... how do i fool my parents enough...
because they realy try to make me eat like AL the time... it's driving me nuts...
so now the only way to eat as less as possible is to eat no more than 200 callories at brakfast and then the same for lunch... an eat as little as possible at dinner... only dinner is the hardest... because my parents make me eat a whole plate of food..

so if i'm lucky i atleast stay bellow 1000 cal a day...
i really hope to find motivation and frends here... because my frends around me do not stimulate me with loosing weight.... they are just eating al the time... trying to make me eat...

thanks for the effort of reading this^^
-hug- mathilde

mcr_swimmer
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hey, so i havent posted in a while, just havent been on, ive only lost a TOTAL of about 10lbs but its better then nothing :) i dont notice much of a difference in appearance, but all my pants are too big even with a belt and ive gone down another hole im my belt, its a bit tight but i can do it anyway,

my mom said i look taller and thinner :) at least someone notices, its weird cuz i ate really badly for a week or so but i lost more weight, oh well.

so yea... idk wat else to say, im kinda depressed and i dont eat as much when im depressed, so i guess thats kind of a good thing? im still having issues with feeling exremley guilty after eating and not being able to plurge, for those of u who dont know i have a phobia from when i was little, throwing up wasnt fun when i was little, i had so many problems and this summer i had my tonsils out and i had bleeding and threw up blood... so i have issues, but wats new? certianly not being depressed or having issues...