Home

Advertisement

Nov. 14th, 2009

  • 2:11 PM
Here is some inspriation for the day!








Because we could all end up like this

Bad day

  • Nov. 14th, 2009 at 11:25 AM
Today was a bad day. Last night I got into a horrible fight with the bf and he got on my case about my not eating for the first time :(. As if its not bad enough that my floor mates are calling me on the floor about it now my one safe person is joining in. He just found out about hell yesterday from my mom because she asked him to check on my eating because she can't come up here as often as he does. :( I almost bpd this morning after he left but I decided instead to run a 6mile in the snow, it makes your cardio-vascular system work harder because it so cold. Im really depressed and am tempted to cut but I really cant risk that right now. My aunt terri is making me go to lunch with her tommorow because now the bf is going to be watching me whenever hes here she wants to see me eat shes a "recovered" mia and "knows what Im going through",,,UGHHHH! its so frustrating!!!! Im going to warm up with a cup of hot tea, 0 calories thank god! and maybe sleep for a bit because I havent been sleeping the last few days. I could really use some encouragement my wonderful world is starting to tank :(.
love you all lots -hugs to everyone-

Nov. 14th, 2009

  • 9:55 AM

Hello ladies!(:

I woke up this morning and ate half of a skinned apple and a cup of apple juice(140cals). It was a lot to eat for breakfast. I wont eat until dinner time. If I eat before than I'll prob. purge and I dont want to do that today. My throat is so sore from this past week. I'm also going to start running again. Oh!, I almost forgot. I ate 2 pieces of orbit gum(6cals.) So I had 143 cals. today and its only 9:41 ): Well, my mom bought more laxatives but she is iding them from me: / I hate that she knows about my ED. And I hate that she only wants to act like a "parent who cares" when she feels like it. She doesnt care that I cut and she never said anything when I was throwing up, but she'll take away my laxatives. Its so gay!
I cut my wrist really deep yesterday in school. I was so stressed because I got a 86 in my honors history class. I need to keep that grade up to at least a 90. I was kind of happy because I got a 93 in spanish and english and a 95 in math, but the 86 killed me. It took me forever to stop the bleeding. I would of got straight A's if I wasnt such a lazy failure.
Well, to show that I'm not a failure, I'm going to fast next week. And restrict myself to only 300cals a day. NO BINGING!!! I know I can do it. I know I can be thin and I know I can be happy.!!!

need help

  • Nov. 13th, 2009 at 10:14 PM
i need encouragement to not eat.
help me to stay proana.
im just starting.

new to this group

  • Nov. 13th, 2009 at 1:26 AM
My names Brock. I'm 20 years old and obviously a guy in a group of girls lol.


CW: 140 =(
HW:160
LW:115
GW:120
Height: 5'9 and a half


ED: ana and mia

I'm trying to stop with the whole mia thing because I've always been a little paranoid about my teeth. I've had an ED since the age of 12. Wrestling got me started there. I'm not fat, god forbid I don't really have any visible on me, but I feel huge and want to get skinnier, I HATE the bulky look that I see when I look in the mirror. My diets gone a little crazy but i've upped my workout to maintain my frame thus far. I'm ready to hop back on the fasting mobile. I want to be light on my feet and envied like the rest. My ex boyfriend was lighter than me naturally and it just irritates me. He does nothing but sit on his bum and eat fast food. Anyways I love you all and hope to gain a few friends. A good diet buddy would be nice.

much love and appreciation,
Brock

got my most up to dates!

  • Nov. 12th, 2009 at 6:02 PM
Its been a long time since I went through and did this completely;
CW: 132, yeah I want hack just thinking about it
GW: 100
HW :230 and some of you think you were cows at your highest and this was while playing MS and HS American Football
Height 6 foot
cals per day 110; yogurt and black coffee everyday for breakfast
hours per day spent working out at the minimum 3
relatonship stat; fience deceased 1 year and 13 days; current unofficial boyfriend seen around ounce a week doesnt lecture me but does poke a few "skinny" (pff yeah right) jokes occasionally, since June 2009
BP: M&M dark chocolate
Longest BP peiriod: 6 weeks before they sent me to hell
ED: combonation

Notes augmented

We've enhanced and de-bugged Notes. If you haven't tried it yet, now's the time! You can create a private note when you ban multiple users. You can also delete multiple notes at once. Lastly, paid users have the option to add a note (visible only to you) whenever you add or remove a friend (guaranteed to avoid embarrassing social mishaps). If you don't currently have a paid account, you can upgrade now! It only takes a few minutes and costs less than a bad shopping mall haircut (plus, it's way more fashionable)!

Product tweaks and bug kill

  1. In another effort to zap spam, comments containing links from domains LiveJournal deems untrustworthy are now automatically screened
  2. If you sign up to get notifications of the Writer's Block question of the day, you'll now see the daily question in the email notification, so you'll have a little extra time to ponder before you post. You can subscribe to Writers Block notifications here
  3. The issue causing random comments to vanish has been fixed!
  4. If you visit a LiveJournal page and get prompted to log in, you'll be returned to the same page after you sign in (Thanks, Dreamwidth)!
  5. If you don't edit the timestamp for an entry at all, the entry timestamp will indicate the time the entry was posted instead of the time the Update Journal page was loaded
  6. Comments with paddings/backgrounds render correctly within the comment box (and will no longer wrap outside the box and break frames/margins)

New FCK fixes rich text editor!

  1. We've updated our RTE (Rich Text Editor) to FCKeditor version 2.6.5
  2. When switching from the RTE to HTML editor, links for syndicated feeds are no longer broken
  3. RTE now functions properly in Safari 4.0
  4. An extra line/space will not be auto-inserted whenever you switch from RTE to HTML editor
  5. The insert image link now works correctly in all browsers

LiveJournal Cares

We’re pleased to introduce you to [info]lj_cares, a new LiveJournal community dedicated to raising awareness and funds for U.S. charitable organizations that improve the health and well-being of people around the world. Each month, we’ll spotlight a nonprofit that is making a significant global impact through medical research, public outreach, and/or humanitarian social programs. Charities will be selected in accordance with the U.S. calendar of national health observances based on a high rating (of over 60%) on Charity Navigator and global scope of impact.

In this, our inaugural month of November, we will celebrate national adoption month by offering a charitable virtual gift (priced at $2.99) to support Love Without Boundaries, an organization that saves the lives of orphans with life-threatening diseases and places them in loving homes around the world. LiveJournal will donate 100% of the proceeds from the sale of charitable vgifts (we'll cover the cost of credit card transaction fees). To learn more about Love Without Boundaries, please visit [info]lj_cares and read about how they helped save Baby Kang and the Rainbow Twins from fatal illnesses, who are now thriving in nurturing families. You can purchase your Love Without Boundaries gifts in the Virtual Gift shop.

Papered in postcards

A couple of weeks ago, we asked you to send in postcards to surround us with LiveJournal community. Thanks for coming through! We've received postcards all the way from Germany, Finland, and Canada and from all over the US, including Texas, Florida, Alaska, Montana, Wyoming, Indiana, Hawaii, and Oklahoma just to name just a handful. We're thrilled with our improved decor.

Please keep the love coming for one more week by writing to Frank the Goat, Esq., c/o LiveJournal, Inc., 539 Bryant Street, Suite 210, San Francisco, CA 94107. Be sure to include your username, since we'll be drawing the names of ten random contributors next Thursday to win paid account credits!

Photos of the week

We have more dazzling images posted by talented LiveJournal photographers from around the world. We're hoping to span the entire globe, so please continue posting and tagging. Of course, you can also sit back and enjoy the view at [info]lj_photophile.

You can see a sample of this week's gorgeous photos and check out spotlight communities and awesome user content after the jump!

Read more... )

Curtains

We thank you, once again, for joining us. See you next week!

=)

  • Nov. 12th, 2009 at 10:31 AM
Hey girls! I started the ABC diet (ana boot camp diet) yesterday, and im really looking for buddies. :) We'd help eachother out and motivate eachother! I will be posting in my journal everyday, so if you want you can follow it.

Good luck with your diets!
xoxo

Hey :3

  • Nov. 12th, 2009 at 10:15 AM
Alright, I'm just now getting used to Livejournal, I haven't had one in years. This is my first real entry - I've been slacking..
Name's Ry.
Hmmm... How do I format this? Ah, yes.
CW, GW, I forgot what heaviest weight was abbreviated as... Anyhow:
CW: 126 lbs
GW: ATM: 120 lbs
Fattest (lol?): 170 lbs - not so lol.

Height (Important, in my opinion - to why we all weigh so differently.): 5'11"

I'm happy to be friends with anyone on AIM, and get to know me better, I'll be a text buddy, as well.

My diet currently consists of baby food. Gross sounding, huh? Well It's pretty effective!

-R

Im back!!!

  • Nov. 12th, 2009 at 7:32 AM
I have obviously been gone for a really long time. I spent 4 months in one of those bullshit recovery centers and then spent the summer trying to convince my mom that I was "ok", if you count fat enough as "ok", enough to go to University and live in the dorms.  Appaerently i was good enough because here I am!  I am no longer being watched like a hawk, I have my scale back and Im able to run and smoke as much as i like.  In short I love it!!!
Im 3 weeks free (yeah thats something I picked up from the girls at the center) and Ive missed all my friends here at LJ and the support I got here. Thanks so much because thats what kept me sane in that hell whole they call help. I ave been trying to slip back into being a cow Im up to 130 lbs (puke) and cant seem to get any lower. any advise?

new girl

  • Nov. 12th, 2009 at 11:03 AM

hey there,

so i'm totaly new here, and after reading the lost girls page for a couple of times dicided it realy could help me, and would be nice to make some frends^^
so first i will explain why my english isn't the best.... i'm dutch... but i can understand everything perfectly, my writing is just nog the best.
i only started loosing weight again a couple of weeks ago... my parents watch me realy closly for what i eat... 3 years ago they got rid of the scale because i was getting so obsessed with it. so yesterday i bought one myself.. and i'm so happy with it... because until now i always got on scales where ever i could... so at frends houses and stuff. now i just hope my parents will not find my scale... i would be so dead if that happens..

CW: 59,9 kg    thats like 132 pounds:O

Hw: 66 kg... i'm not even going to say that in pounds... so embarrasing
GW1 : 55 kg     121 pounds
GW2: 50 kg      +-  110 pounds 

i'm 161 cm  i think thats like 5'2 isn't it?  and i'm 18 years old... at the end of this month 19^^

my first and biggest question is.... how do i fool my parents enough...
because they realy try to make me eat like AL the time... it's driving me nuts...
so now the only way to eat as less as possible is to eat no more than 200 callories at brakfast and then the same for lunch... an eat as little as possible at dinner... only dinner is the hardest... because my parents make me eat a whole plate of food..

so if i'm lucky i atleast stay bellow 1000 cal a day...
i really hope to find motivation and frends here... because my frends around me do not stimulate me with loosing weight.... they are just eating al the time... trying to make me eat...

thanks for the effort of reading this^^
-hug- mathilde

...

  • Nov. 11th, 2009 at 9:31 PM

hey, so i havent posted in a while, just havent been on, ive only lost a TOTAL of about 10lbs but its better then nothing :) i dont notice much of a difference in appearance, but all my pants are too big even with a belt and ive gone down another hole im my belt, its a bit tight but i can do it anyway,

 

my mom said i look taller and thinner :) at least someone notices, its weird cuz i ate really badly for a week or so but i lost more weight, oh well.

so yea... idk wat else to say, im kinda depressed and i dont eat as much when im depressed, so i guess thats kind of a good thing? im still having issues with feeling exremley guilty after eating and not being able to plurge, for those of u who dont know i have a phobia from when i was little, throwing up wasnt fun when i was little, i had so many problems and this summer i had my tonsils out and i had bleeding and threw up blood... so i have issues, but wats new? certianly not being depressed or having issues...
 

EDIT@08:16 UTC/GMT. Wow. That was ugly. I expected it to go for 30 minutes and have maybe 1 minute of broken connectivity. Instead it lasted over 4 hours and we had 10 minutes of downtime directly related to the load balancer upgrades and then another 5-10 minutes of downtime when our primary Pingback database server crashed and the secondary couldn't take over; which could have been indirectly caused by the network upgrade missing a self-VIP.

Anyways, we're up, we're working, the load balancers are barely breaking a sweat right now and I need some food and a shot of whiskey. I don't even *like* whiskey!!

Thanks [info]mhwest and [info]dnewhall for helping out!

---

On Saturday the 14th at 4AM UTC/GMT we will be upgrading the operating system of our network load balancers to a newer version, one that will allow us to use both CPUs! Nifty, because multiprocessing is nice.

Since we have 2 load balancers, the plan is to upgrade 1 at a time, and there really should be very little impact to our website. Hopefully you won't notice a thing and I'll get to go back to the hotel and watch some wonderful late night infomercials.

We've got a lot of exciting projects coming up for 2010 and we're hoping that we'll be able to deliver them all to you, that you will find it useful/cool/lovely and then you will use the site even more. Behind-the-scenes work like this will give us the capacity to handle the anticipated traffic, so expect a few more maintenance windows especially in the beginning of next year as we've got some neat ideas to improve performance around here! We had the recent 30-45 minute outage yesterday due to one of our logging databases filling up disk space -- not so great design coupled with my human error in handling the initial problem -- and it looks like we're going to finally have some resources to eliminate stuff like that. I can't wait!

As usual, I will be updating status.livejournal.org before and after, just in case you are not able to reach our main website during the work.

Hi there

  • Nov. 11th, 2009 at 11:13 AM
My name is CJ, I'm 16 and I am so ridiculously glad I stumbled upon this site...
I've had weight issues since I was 13, I'd binge and purge all the time even though I was around 110 pounds [I miss being that tiny, I'd do ANYTHING to be back there]
I stopped right before I turned 15 and I was slightly okay for a while, i exercised here and there, I was a vegetarian so I ate well.
But my depression got really bad this year during april and I ended up weighing about 130 pounds, it was disgusting.

So, I need to get control back. I've been fasting for seven days now, my goal is 20 days but if I ate least make it to fifteen that's okay with me.
I've already lost 10 pounds and my face and legs have gotten a lot slimmer, it's exciting.
I'm going to make sure I don't gain it back, I REFUSE to be above 120 pounds ever again.
I miss wearing a size one, size three feels so bulky. But it will happen again. If I'm at least 110 by the end of this fast I will be ecstatic.

stats:

CW: 120 [i weighed myself 3 days ago, I'm going to do it again today hopefully]
HW: 130
GW: 100 [i'd settle for 105]

If anyone wants to be buddies or anything I'm totally all for it, I could use the extra push.

business as usual

  • Nov. 10th, 2009 at 6:02 PM
So just like i ALWAYS do, I decided that from now on it'll be different, made all kinds of commitments to myself, and did well for a couple days and then lost it. Im still doing better though because i'm not just trying to change how much i eat i'm coming to understand the reasons behind what I eat and change the thoughts instead. so even though i ended up giving in i was conscious of my feelings and aware of the whole process from craving to binge. So even though i did it i can learn from it. Im under a lot of stress right now in life and still seeing food as a way of being nice to myself. I'm still having all-or-nothing thinking, like I had 100 calories might as well have 500. And I was able to stop. I was at 45 calories and i was able to have a tortilla and then stop. Of course about an hour later it started over and i gave in again but it's a start. I can't expect to change such ingrained thought processes overnight. It's kinda hilarious I'm using self evaluation and behavior modification techniques that i learned in therapy and psychology classes, in order to become better at being disordered. Still though if i have the obsession i should have the body. And it's not a bad idea for me to have better self discipline for a change. So basically what happened is I got super determined, fasted and lost more weight than I lost, then the problem started when I started thinking I shouldn't settle for losing 10lb in 2 weeks i should see how much I can possibly lose, then I starved myself too hard, then i didn't feel like it was ok to eat anything at all and that's the moment when food starts to represent things. like self-love, or comfort, or defiance, or a bunch of other emotional concepts and that's when the problem starts. So i'm going to be content w/my 400 cals a day and the loss that brings me, i'll still be hard on myself in terms of not going over that limit and sticking to my gym routine but i'm not going to keep repeating things i know don't work. Also one of the things was that I'm starting to have a few health side effects and I was thinking about how i'm ruining myself w/this. I used to have thoughts like that and I'd "recover" for a few days but i'd just go back to my old ways only w/a few extra pounds. besides if i am causing health problems i better lose enough to make it worth it. What I really need to do is what I said, 400cals a day workout every other day or more and get to my GW as fast as I can but more about consistency than speed.  Enough pressure to make good choices but not so much that I get overwhelmed and all the emotional stuff kicks in. Besides once i'm at 90 I won't need such a huge deficit as when I'm losing cos I'll just be maintaining and I can eat more and the side effects will go away.
p.s. I do need to get to 90 by Dec cos I'm moving back to my mom's, she usually ignores my self-destructive stuff cos it's better than suicide especially if I'm stable in other ways but 90s extreme for 6' tall so in case she decides to care I can just say that I don't want to gain but I'll promise not to lose any more that should be enough. Especially if I'm getting all my vitamins and stuff and I can prove that i'm healthy enough she doesn't need to feel guilty. Or as healthy as anything else I've done to myself haha.

I just need help

  • Nov. 10th, 2009 at 8:03 PM
I know this is mainly for girls but I'm a guy with an eating disorder and I need support...  Okay let's do stats:

Age: 21
Height: 5'9
CW: 115 lbs
HW: 123 lbs
LW: 110 lbs
GW: 125 lbs


So like.. yeah.. I'm 115 lbs right now, and I'm 5'9. And you'd think that be decently thin but I can't change my weight at all. Like, I've been trying constantly. I went to the KFC buffet for lunch today and ate as much as I could, and had a bunch of food for dinner too. Like, I usually eat about a pound of food at a time, and not the healthy kind, but butter and cheese and grease and fat constantly. We deep-fried cheddar cheese wrapped in bacon the other day, it was so greasy. But I fucking lost weight that day. I want to get to like 125 and have some more muscle you know? But I can't I mean I have eaten the Quad-stacker combo from Burger Kind, which is over 6,000 calories by itself, and then had TWO dairy queen blizzards for dessert. And look at me. Nothing. No fucking change. I can't deal with this any more. Like nobody appreciates how thin I am, and I just want the support of you girls. You know what it's like to be this thin. And the doctor is being suck a prick, saying I have an eating disorder. Yeah, I know I do, I eat too much, but I keep losing weight from it. I was 112 when I woke up today. Just look at me! And forget finding a normal girl who is just as thin, because that's all I want. Can any of you help me?

ABC Diet!

  • Nov. 10th, 2009 at 3:39 PM
Hey girls!
I'm starting the ABC diet (Ana Boot Camp Diet) tomorrow. I'l be posting in my journal daily, so if you want you can follow it with me :) I need a buddie who would want to do it with me, so if you want you can email me=)

DIURETICS/WATER PILLS/FLUID PILLS

  • Nov. 10th, 2009 at 5:58 PM
So, a lot of people seem to think diuretics (fluid pills/water pills) are going to help them lose weight. Well, you're wrong - they won't.

READ THIS )

Nov. 10th, 2009

  • 4:05 PM

ugh....i feeel like a total failure. I've been feeling like this for like 2 weeks. I'm a total fatty and the only one in this whole flippin' website not making any progress. I binged and purged after school today. I'm the biggest girl out of all my friends.): Well, today i realized that my depression is coming back and I'm pushing everyone away. I've been thinking about killing myself for the longest. But in the past 2-3 weeks I've been more then tempted to do it. I think when I loose the weight I'll finally be happy.

I'm going to only eat 300-500cals everyday for the next two weeks then i'll do a week fast.
Anyone have any tips to keep me focused on my fast.???
I need to loose a lot of weight before Jan1st.!!!!!!
I'm tring to trick my mom into letting me use these diet pills. Maybe they'll work.


wish me luckkk

xxxx
melll

Spotlights: Homepage Spotlight 11/9/09

  • Nov. 9th, 2009 at 9:49 AM
[info]sixwordstories
Whether you're in the mood for a creative challenge or you're short on time or attention span, this semi-addictive community is perfect for those who find flash fiction way long. Once you get the hang of it, you won't be able to stop. The prince turned into a frog. The girl ran home to mother. Tough to write. Easy to read. It's a double threesome of fun.